Perplexed

 "Cappuccino, please," she placed her order as her mind wandered through the woods into the clouds. "This place is mesmerizing," she thought to herself as she looked back into the book.

"Same," he smiled at the waiter as he seated himself across the table.

"Excuse me!" she stared at him perplexed.

"Hi!" he said, casually and kept smiling.

"This place is occupied," she uncomfortably confronted him for her territory.

"Not sure about the place, but your mind certainly is. Is the story not interesting? Seems like you're making your own. Observing you for quite sometime," he chuckled.

"Wow! Mind reader!" she smirked as tried to escape his gaze.

"No, it's your eyes. They talk." His voice was deep. She looked at him. Her heart felt warm.

Little did he know that she was thinking about him too.

Deal

Poem needs a broken heart
Can I have one?

I promise to bring out the beauty in your feelings-
And prove to you that it was not your mistake.

I know you have it buried inside you-
Let me speak for you.

I promise I will be polite-
And prove to you that this too shall fade like everything else.

The Quest

Dreamy dreamy eyes,
Tell me - 
Where do I find Thee?

In rocky paths or the sky,
In Thy love or their pride,
In dark forests or by Your side.
As they say,
I will know someday.
The bells would ring,
And the piano will play.

I look for You,
And I know You're there.
I wish to hold Your hand,
Walk a mile;
Forget the worries,
Feel the life juvenile.

A kiss of soul,
A touch of air;
A breeze of aura,
And every prayer - 
Will complete my quest,
Will heal the despair.
I look for You,
I look around.
Dreamy dreamy eyes,
Tell me - Where do I find Thee?

Manzil

Manzil ki talaash ho

Safar mein iztiraab na ho

Hausalon mein josh ho

Mushkilo ka kauf na ho

Ek deewangi ho

Deewanagi ki hadh na ho

Shayari

Na kisi ke jaane ka gham

Na kisi ko paane ki khushi

Kisi shikast-e-dil ne kaha hai

Zindagi jeene ke liye ye andaaz achha hai

Main Khush Hu

Is pal mein khush hu

Jo beet gaya us kal se khush hu

Jo haasil hai uski jeet mein khush hu

Jo haar gayi uski yaad mein khush hu

Kaam mein khush hu, aaram mein khush hu

Jo aane wala hai uske intezaar mein khush hu

Jo paas nahi uski aawaz sunke khush hu

Koi naraz hai, uske iss andaz se khush hu

Zindagi choti si, iski har baat se khush hu

Main aaj mein khush hu, har pal mein khush hu 

पर ये ठीक नहीं

मिलना जुलना ठीक नहीं-

प्यार का हो जाना गलत।

ऐतबार करना ठीक नहीं-

वादा तोड़ना गलत।

बिछड़ना बुरा है-

साथ छूटना ठीक नहीं।

दिल तोड़ना बुरा है-

खुद का टूटना ठीक नहीं।

इसे इत्तेफाक समझइये या रिश्तों का दस्तूर-

मुलाकात हो जाती है-

प्यार भी हो ही जाता है।

वादा हम कर लेते हैं-

पर साथ छूट ही जाता है।

सही और गलत के फैसले में-

गुजरता वक्त हम थाम नहीं पाते।

दिल टूट जाता है-

और खुद का टूटना हम रोक नहीं पाते।

Killed

I remember her telling me that night that her mind was numb. 

“I was not thinking at all. I dont know. I just felt as if I was flowing - unrestrained. I didnt want to stop myself. I knew in my heart that my secret would remain safe. I also knew that nothing would happen.” 

She was wrong. Overconfidence outdid her virtues. A part of her soul was killed. 

“Served her right.” I said, looking into her eyes. 

My mirror didnt lie, everyone else did. 

————————————————————————————-

She was used to walking away. She never tried looking back. She used to remark that it didn’t really touch her!

But it was different this time.

“Don’t you feel it or you just don’t allow? Isn’t it hard? You make it seem so simple.” I asked her.

She brushed her hair back with her hands and smiled while  biting her lower lip. Her eyes closed. 

I left her a tissue. I knew she needed it. 

————————————————————————————-

It was not right. But he wanted it. And he didn’t care. 

She was hurt. And he didn’t care.

She never knew what it was to be under a spell. 

She lost her peace in the thunder of her heartbeats. 

She had the power to end it. Why didn't she? 

She bled in love. And he didn't care.

————————————————————————

“Please don’t leave me alone. What would I be without you?” I cried, tears rolling down my eyes profusely. My vision blurred. I could hardly see her. 

“You should have thought about this earlier. Don’t you remember praying to God that you are ready to bear the consequences?!”

“Please. I promise I will be careful now. I won’t let you down. I’ll be the one I was born like. I need you.” 

I tried to pull her back. My heartbeat was rising. I couldn’t breathe. 

————————————————————————————

“I know you are not the one you have acted like. I’m yours and will always be. But you have crushed my existence. You strangled me then and you are killing me with each passing day.” 

Her lips parched dry thirsting for realization, letting go and forgiveness. My “soul” left me caged in my thoughts. She couldn’t bear my suffocated mind anymore. 

I stood there in front of the mirror with my eyes flooded with tears. I lost my only friend who judged for me, who warmed me with answers in moments of confusion. I had lost her. I had lost myself. I killed her. I killed my soul.

————————————————————————————-

Isolation. Even worse, escapism! 

“I don’t want these dark circles around my eyes. Why can’t I be happy?” I fumed looking at myself in the mirror. 

Tears gushed down burning my face. I howled. I cried. It was surely not pain. 

My inability to accept. My failed attempts to move on. My secret desire to be back in the rut. My refusal to forgive. 

The darkness breathed passionately in me while my quietness struggled for help. 

————————————————————————————

A year passed.

I heard a knock this morning. It synced with my heartbeat. A voice. 

“I never said that you should stop living your life.”

I cried. Again. It’s been so long with flooded eyes and blurry vision that I fail to realize if I cry in joy or if it’s pain. 

————————————————————————————

“Talk to me.”
“Leave me alone.”
“Really?!” she laughed. “Well, I must say that it feels great to  see that I was the only one you had. And you still dared to mess with me.”
“You left me dead. I want to live.” I sobbed like a baby.
“You were never alone. I left her with you. She is pretty grown up now.”
“Who????”
“I have named her for you - Conscience.”

————————————————————————————

Months passed. 

I love winters. I can pull layers of clothes on myself and feel safest in the world. 

“Gosh, I am so weird.” I scoff as I zip up my boots.

Office is warm. I choose the cosiest workstation to hide myself. This new guy keeps staring at me with his dove eyes. I feel that his eyes are always waiting for me. 

————————————————————————————

“Whatever!” I murmered as I struggled to lift my bag off the floor. 

“I will carry it to your seat.” he offered.

“Thanks!” I said returning to my workstation. He was smiling, so was I. 

As I pull up my laptop screen to switch it on, my reflection freezes. I hear a thud in my heart.

Conscience whispers, “Another rapist in town, honey! Be aware.”

 Kanupriya 

Chaand

Tumse jyada koi khoobsoorat nahi,

Tumse jyada mujhe kisi se mohabbat nahi - 

Waqt to gair hai - kisi ke liye thehra nahi. 

Tum roz aate ho, mujhe pyar ki chandni mein bhigo jaate ho;

Tumse jyada mujhe kisi pe aitbaar nahi.

Tumse jyada mujhe kisi ka intezaar nahi.

Tera Bhi Aur Mera Bhi

Ishq ke mausam mein

Sard hawaon sang 

Chahat ki garmahat mein

Dilon ko seka hai

Ye kissa tera bhi hai, mera bhi.

Nazron ki guftgu mein

Chand ki roshni sang

Mohabbat ki aagosh mein

Na bichadne ka vaada kiya hai

Ye fasana tera bhi hai, mera bhi.

 

Agar naseeb na tha unka saath -

To mehsoosa hi kyu -

Ye shikayat teri bhi hai, meri bhi.

Agar bewafa hi thi mohabbat - 

To hui hi kyu -

Dil to toota hai tera bhi aur mera bhi.

Mohabbat

Wo aankhon se jo pila gaye wo sharab na thi;

Rago mein jo daud gayi wo khushboo behisaab thi.

Hum mom sa pighalte gaye - 

Unki mohabbat mein wo garmahat thi.

Ye pyar hi tha, unhe humpe aitbaar bhi tha - 

Is chahat mein beshumar nazakat thi.

Kal shayad hum saath na ho - 

Har ehsaas mein tumhe mehsoosenge - 

Ise waqt ki ek ada samjhna - 

Ye tumhari meri aazmaiysh thi.

Wo mil jayega

Andheron mein bhi jugnu jagmaga jaate hain,

Dhoondho to jungalon mein bhi raaste mil jaate hain.

Khuda bhi mehsoos ho jaata hai -

Humein aitbaar bhi ho jaata hai. 

Is parayi duniya mein apne hain bohot - 

Tumhe bhi koi mil jayega...

Pyar bhi ho hi jayega. 

Shayad

Kabhi jo unko dekha tha to - 

Aaj ye sochte hain 

Kaash keh diya hota - 

Agar meri zindagi mein hote to - 

Shayad main sambhal jaata.

Waqt rehte unse keh paata to -

Zindagi bhar mauke na talaashta.

Unke khumar-e-mohabbat mein ghulta to -

Ghar ka raasta na bhoolta. 

Unko bhulane mein poori zindagi laga di - 

Jo pal maine kho diye -

Aaj unka hisab na banata.

Aaj aakhiri khwaish ki mehfil jami hai -

Dhadkane bhi dheemi si ho rahi hai.

Deedar-e-mohabbat hoti to - 

Ye phisalta waqt bhi tham jaata. 

Main Khuda se ek pal aur maang laata

Shayad unse keh pata - 

Agar meri zindagi mein hote to - 

Shayad main sambhal jaata.

Dil Ki Baat III

Waqt hi nahi tha doston - 

Warna hum to mohabbat mein qayamat barsane walon mein se hain.

--------------------------

Tujhe bhoolne ki roz kasamein khaate hain;

Tujhe to bhool nahi paate - 

Tujhe bhoolna hai, roz ye baat bhool jaate hain. 

----------------------------

Ishq kiya bhi to kya khoob kiya,

Aaj mile aur kal bhula diya.

Ye to aaj ke zamane ka dastoor sa ho gaya - 

Naam poocha nahi aur mehboob bana liya.

---------------------------

Tum ek haadse ka charcha karte ho-

Yahan roz khamoshi mein dum nikalta hai;

Baat keh nahi paaye, baat sun nahi paaye-

Yahan roz ek aarzoo dum todti hai-

Yahan roz ek hadsa hota hai.

------------------------------------

Tujhse jooda har lamha ek fareb lage hai-

Kabhi jo aati thi humein har baat pe hasi,

Ab har kissa naaqis lage hai.

Shikayat karna to buzdili hogi-

Hum apne zakhmo ko chupa lete hain.

Apne ashqon ki numaayish bhi nahi karte-

Mohabbat ki fariyaad to mohabbat ki toheen lage hai. 

-------------------------------------

Ye bhi hua ki humne intezaar karna chorr diya;

Gulshan ki taraf ab nigahein nahi karte,

Khud se guftgu karna chorr diya.

Sab karke dekh liya-

Tere deedaar-e-shauq ka nasha hai-

Jo subah talak utarta hi nahi;

Humne to zindagi ko jeena chorr diya-

Tera suroor hai rago mein jo bujhta hi nahi.

--------------------------

Ye zindagi yuhi kat jaati to dost na bante

Thokaron se rihai yuhi mil jaati to dua na padhte;

Apne dard ko mehfilon mein taqseem kar nadaan-

Gham andheron mein ghul jaate to maikhane na bante.

Dil ki baat II

Wo humse poochte hain ki -

Hum unhe paas kyu nahi aane dete;

Koi bataye ki hum unhe kaise samjhayein - 

Is baar bikhre to simat na paayenge.

Dil Ki Baat I

Mat rok mujhe -

Likhne de qatil;

Kya pata  is gustakh qalam se 

Kabhi tere bhi haalat-e-dil bayan ho jaaye.

Ye Kaisi Mohabbat

Tera zikr karne se bachte hain;

Kahin logo ko humari gustakhiyan pata na chal jaaye.

Tere charchon mein shaamil nahi hote;

Kahin humari aankhon se teri bewafaiyan chalak na jaaye.

Ye kaisi mohabbat kar li humne - 

Jo gir ke aaj tak sambhal na paaye.

Na tujhe apna paaye,

Na is jazbaat ko koi naam de paaye.

Hum Galat The

Hum to yu hi nikal pade the
Hawaon ki rukh ke sang; 
Socha gunguna lenge tarane masti ke,
Bana lenge bahane yaari ke,
Rang denge is duniya ko -
Apne hi rang.

Bekhayal lage gairon ko apnane;
Dosti ishq wafa ke vaade nibhane;
Hum to umeedon ke silsilon mein lage behne -
Koi mohabbat ka vaada humse bhi nibha lega,
Humein bhi dost bana lega,
Humari bhi bechainiyon ko gale laga lega.

Itni zor se cheekh lagayi haqiqat ne - 
Seham gaye hum apni masoom tabiyat mein;
Humari rago se garmahat hi kheech li ho kisi ne;
Ek thandi khauf dastak deti hai dhadkano mein.

Kya galat ho gaya humse jane anjane mein,
Aas hi toot gayi ho jaise - 
Ab kya ubhrein kisi ke samjhne se;
Hum ne to aitbaar kiya tha insaniyat pe,
Koi bata deta ki hum galat hain - 
To daav na lagate is zamane se.

Udaan

Meri har kahani mein zikr hai mohabbat ka - 
Khud se rihai ka, hosla-e-afzai ka.
Kuch fasane rangeen hai, kuch gamgeen;
Taaluq is zamaane se kuch aisa ho chala hai - 
Uljhano ke dararon se rengati zindagi bhi lage haseen.

Firaq-e-yaar k dard mein lipte hue - 
Ye ashq jo teri palko mein thehre hain;
Bereham zamaane se khauf zada silwate tere chehre pe - 
In silwaton se behne ki raah dhoondhe hain. 

Kyu roke hai tu apne jazbaat apni hi awaaz mein;
Teri aankhon se bayan tere halaat-e-zakhm ho rahe hain.
Apne befikr andaaz pe jhoothi nakhwat dikhane waale - 
Teri khoii muskurahat tere dil afgaar ko benaqaab kar rahe hain.

Tu khud ko aazaad kar le us har khayal se -
Jo tujhe Khuda se juda kar raha;
Is do ghadi ki zindagi ko kyu tu khalish-e-dil ki -
Badqismat yaadon mein zaya kar raha.
Ye teri ibtada-e-fatah hogi - 
Tu apna naseeb yun khaak mein na udaa.
Kyu apne zakhmo ka tabiib gairon ki rahmat mein dhoond raha;
Mohabbat to teri ruuh mein basa, teri rago mein beh raha.

Aazmaayish

Achha hua jo tumpe nahi guzra - 
Beraham jazbaaton ke belagaam aziyat;
Warna tumhe bhi ishq se kauf hota.
Tum bhi na aitbaar kar paate kisi pe;
Na kisi ko paane ki talab hoti,
Na kisi pe fanaa hone ka shauk hota.

Kisi gair ko apni berabt tamannaon ka sahara samjhkar,
Mohabbat-e-jahan ki duhai dene nikal pade.
Masarrat ke jhoothe fasaane jab mitti mein mile ,
To keechadd ke cheethon mein aarzu-e-daaman bhigone pade.

Aaj tumhari baahon mein doobe hue ye khayal aaya - 
Ye kis gustaq lamhe ne humein bewafa banaya.
Tumhare aitbaar par khare na utare hum,
Tumhari riyayat ne humein gumrah karaya.

Is nayi zindagi ke aagaz pe tum bhi khade ho aur main bhi;
Bahisht ke khwab aankhon mein lekar tum bhi chale ho aur main bhi.
Vaada hai tumse, humari roodaad-e-mohabbat khaak mein na milne denge;
Bus apni muskuraahat se humari meharoomiyon mein roshini bhar dena kabhi kabhi.

Tumse phir bichadne ke kauf se ye dil seham jaata hai;
Humari bebasi mein chalke aansuon pe humari wafa ko reham aata hai.
Ye jo aagaz hai, dua hai ki anjaam isse khoobsurat ho;
Waqt ki aazmaayish ho, par har daur tum sang haseen ho.
Tumhare liye jo jazbaat hai, agar iska naam "mohabbat" hai, to hai;
Tumhari qurbat mein jo sukoon hai, agar iska naam "aitbaar" hai, to hai.